and now we wait

Might sound strange but one of the struggles with infertility, specifically embryo adoption, is the ability to control.  When my husband and I gave our lives to Christ we gave Him control in exchange for His grace. I feel like we have been given back some of that control. I don't like it. We can control when we complete our testing, when we start birth control and when we plan to transfer. All that being said we can also control when we would be due if we were to be blessed with a pregnancy. We can't control if this works or not so we will leave that in God's hands.

We have decided to wait until January to complete our testing and to do our frozen embryo transfer.  There are several factors at play here. Obviously we have wanted a pregnancy for a long time. Adopting Brennan has definitely helped to decrease that sense of urgency we once felt. We thought there would be a big opportunity for federal loan repayment when we moved here to help pay down my student loans. That is no longer an option and starting in August my loan payments double!  It's like we are paying 2 mortgages per month. We decided that we need to make sure we can handle that big change financially before we go spending money on infertility testing and treatments.... which of course will hopefully turn into a pregnancy, birth, maternity leave and BABY! Talk about financial stress.

I was putting Brennan into the (hot) car the other day. She was fighting her car seat because she was tired and the hot Southern sun was beating down on my back. It hit me that if I had a baby in May or June, in the South, that I would be forced to turn into a hermit. A newborn, a 2 year old, and an average of 95 degrees with 60% humidity? Sounds like a recipe for postpartum depression.

If we wait until January for our HSG, February for birth control along with a saline sonogram and mock transfer that puts us somewhere around March or April for our transfer. If we are lucky enough to get pregnant that would be a baby between November & January. Much better.

Please be praying over the next several months as we work through and finalize the contract with our donors, meet with a counselor to discuss the psychological aspects of embryo adoption and hopefully get our little snowflakes shipped here safely.